A busy day.

Today was both a good day, and a rough day, all wrapped into one. The good:

• My morning walks...always refreshing and re-energizing
  
• Littlest two monkeys are enjoying VBS, and I'm enjoying a bit of time to get things done
• I got the chest freezer cleaned off...and can actually get to it and get things out
• Swim lessons are fabulous: Little Dude put all the pieces together today and really started swimming! Mighty Man has discovered he can swim completely across the pool...and back. I'm so proud!
• I made it to open workout at the karate dojo this morning...I do remember some of this stuff. Maybe there's hope for my test after all?
• As of this morning, I'm down 6 pounds of the nearly 15 that I gained just before The Lizard left. That feels pretty good!
• Our life is full, we're busy. LM and MB are off to camp, and MM & LD are busy, busy! VBS 9-12, swim lessons 2:30-3:10, other swim lessons 3:50-4:20, karate 4:30-5:30. And busy keeps us out of trouble, for the most part.
  

The not-so-good:

• Saying goodbye as The Lizard left the country. Cell phones with iffy coverage just don't let you say goodbye properly.
  
• The tears.

I know I need to just let go and have a good cry, but I feel conflicted. I'm trying to portray a strong, competent woman. I think I'm doing a pretty good job. But I know I can't hide and suppress all my feelings indefinitely. I'm learning that it's easier to just let go and cry, then pull myself together and move on. The catch is, I don't want the little guys to be concerned. I want them to know that their mama will always be here, a beacon of strength and a tender-hearted shelter when they need to have their own come-apart.

While we do talk about how mommy feels, I rarely let down my guard until I'm alone. And then I feel terribly alone. It's usually late, after the kids are tucked securely into bed, and much too late for a phone call (my father was adamant that phone calls were not to be placed after 8pm. Period.). Thankfully, even in my most lonely hours, I feel the love and support of those around me. I feel the prayers holding me up. I know I have friends who would welcome a phone call, no matter what the hour. I know that I have only to ask, and nearly anything under the sun will be done for me. And I sincerely thank all of you who are there for me: spiritually, emotionally, physically, electronically...you mean the world to me. ♥

In other news...here's the quote of the day:
"That's ok, mommy. I put my kazoo in that pocket in my underwear."